When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead

When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead

By Neal Martin/ September 15, 2015
Last Updated April 27, 2023
find your purpose

Life’s a drag, no two ways about it. Maybe not 24/7, but often enough, life feels like trying to inhale the world’s most unappetizing lollipop—donkey-flavored, extra large, and hairier than a werewolf’s armpit.

You won’t hear that kind of candor much in this era of self-help and “good vibes only” mentalities.

For the relentless positivity-pushers who preach rewiring your brain to achieve a so-called “blissful existence” (aka: a fantastical, unicorn-infested utopia), uttering the words “life sucks” might trigger a physical reaction like the one below…

fuck off

…followed by a verbal eye-roll along the lines of, “Geez, someone needs to amp up their daily affirmations,” or “Whoa, negativity alert! Time to channel your inner Zen master.”

Well, maybe I’m not in the mood to be a freakin’ positivity powerhouse right now! Maybe you need a break from your relentless, self-help-infused pep talks!

Life does, in fact, blow chunks for a bunch of people, quite often. No denying it.

Pretending otherwise won’t magically make it all sunshine and rainbows.

Sadly, in this age of reality-avoidance, we often hide from life’s harsh truths behind a glossy façade of lies and an impenetrable fortress of escapism—whether it’s the fibs we tell ourselves or the never-ending distractions on offer.

But guess what? Life can still be a bummer, even when your coping mechanisms barely mask its sucktacular nature.

We’re born, we live, we die. What’s the point? Why even bother?

‘Cause we don’t really have a choice, that’s why.

The Great Cosmic Joke

Ah, the cruel irony of human existence. So often, it can feel unbearable, pointless, and devoid of meaning, yet we’re inexplicably driven by some inner force to keep trudging through the muck.

We soldier on, enduring a rollercoaster of pain and suffering, right up until the curtain falls, never knowing if any of it mattered.

Sure, some folks hit the eject button and call it quits.

But here’s a sobering fact about suicide: Almost everyone who survives a suicide attempt reports the same thought as they took the plunge – “Fuck me, what have I done? I don’t really wanna die!”

Suicide may seem like an option, but in reality, it’s a desperate cry for help that tragically claims lives before the cavalry arrives.

And even if you dodge the Reaper, life’s still waiting to sucker punch you. Now, you’ve got guilt and shame piled onto your already overflowing plate of suckitude. Talk about a lousy deal!

So, we’ve established life can be a steaming pile of “ugh.” The million-dollar question is: What do we do about it, aside from plodding along like malfunctioning robots?

Discover Your Hilarious Purpose

The only way I’ve found to battle the existential dread is by discovering a purpose so funny, it could leave the universe in stitches.

Allow me to wring this comedy metaphor like an old soggy dish cloth until it screams for mercy… or something.

I’ve dabbled in money, family, drugs, sex, and a smorgasbord of unmentionables, but an outrageously amusing purpose is the only thing that keeps me going—or, at the very least, makes me snort-laugh through life’s tribulations.

Purpose has been my life’s comedic relief when meaning seemed as scarce as hens’ teeth.

Purpose lets you declare (with as much certainty as humanly possible), “This is why I’m here, so let’s get this show on the road!”

In my experience, that purpose has to be as unique as your sense of humor. Living solely for others isn’t a strong enough punchline. You can be there for others, but only after you’ve cracked yourself up first. There’s no joy in dedicating your life to being everyone else’s straight man.

Now, you might think I’m off my rocker—especially if you have a spouse and kids like I do. But hear me out.

All I’m saying is, you can’t really help others until you’ve tickled your own funny bone first.

That’s not selfish or narcissistic—it’s just being hilariously honest.

When life’s got me in a headlock, I try to remind myself of my gut-busting purpose.

Sure, sometimes it takes a while to remember, especially after a soul-crushing emotional experience that’s tossed me off life’s comedy stage.

But the moment I recall the “why” of my life, I stop obsessing over the “what for,” and life seems to suck a whole lot less.

There’s more power in that kind of candor than in forcing yourself to think positively. That fluff only conceals the pain—it doesn’t confront it head-on.

To tackle the pain of existence, you have to stare it down, acknowledge its presence, and then laugh in its face.

The pain is real.

But so is the healing power of a hysterical purpose.

Slather on that comical purpose like a soothing balm, and you’ll find your balance and see things more clearly.

Eventually, you’ll think, “Shit happens. So what?”

(Pro tip: Don’t forget your sense of humor. Laughing at a situation helps loosen its grip and reveals just how absurd and ridiculous life can be most of the time.)

The Comedy of Life’s Lessons

There’s a good chance that the curveballs life throws at us are part of some cosmic gag reel. I’m not 100% sold on the idea, but it’s a theory worth exploring.

When I examine the painful moments in my life, I realize the pain was like a punchline, nudging me to change or learn something from the experience.

If I keep making the same blunders that bring me pain, it’s a sign I need to quit being the butt of the joke.

If I endure a traumatic experience, it’s probably because there’s a life lesson hidden in the script.

It’s all pretty logical when you think about it.

What’s often challenging, though, is heeding these warnings and learning the comedic timing of life. As humans, we sometimes seem destined to repeat our bloopers until our final curtain call. That’s just life.

But the better you get at paying attention and learning your lines, the less life will feel like a tragedy.

That’s where personal development comes in—not the “manifest-yourself-a-mansion” kind, but the realistic kind. There’s a massive difference.

As I’ve mentioned before, a personal development program can arm you with the tools to become the kind of person who can best fulfill their hilarious purpose. The nature of your purpose will dictate the kind of comedic genius you are and the kind you need to become.

However, no matter how much personal development you undergo, life will still have its moments of pure slapstick.

For those times, you need the power of purpose—the power of “why”—to remind you why you’re here, cracking jokes on this cosmic stage.

Purpose is like a lifeboat in a sea of suffering, and let’s be real, it’s way easier to navigate in a boat than to tread water while waves of misery crash over you, leaving you feeling like you’re drowning in a pool of sad trombone noises.

When everything else is as unpredictable as a stand-up comedy set, your sense of purpose will remain your trusty punchline.

At least until the aliens arrive and inform us that everything we thought we knew is utterly and hilariously wrong.

what the fuck!

For now, remember your purpose, keep your head up, and carry on soldier…

20 responses to “When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead”

  1. Trixie Avatar
    Trixie

    Nothing will change. 47 years of depression and poverty my life SUCKS. UGLY people have no purpose so why bother. The world hates UGLY PEOPLE. Even my psychiatrist said there is no FIX for ugly. Death is the only solution. Thanks but I didn’t have to read the entire article to know this is another bullshit website.

    1. Jan Avatar
      Jan

      I agree! Yes you can commit suicide! People gi e life changes as reasons not to. It reali,I g that by the time we get to this point, life has become meaningless; we no longer give a shot! Too many people have … well, you & I get it! Best of luck in all your endeavord@

  2. BOB Avatar

    YOU SHOULDENT GO AROUND SAYING KILL YOUR SELF PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUVE DONE

  3. Nobody Avatar
    Nobody

    And if we can’t find a “Sense of Purpose” ??

    1. Neal Martin Avatar
      Neal Martin

      I’m not going to give you some glib reply. I understand your frustration, however. I searched for a long time too, and thought I’d never find it. I’d say the path is there for you. It’s just hidden. If you’re sincere about finding it, and want to find it enough, I believe you will at some point. As cliched as it sounds, it’s about not giving up. That’s been my experience anyway. If you don’t believe in the concept of finding or having a purpose, or don’t believe you have or ever will find a purpose, then there is nothing else to do but to accept your lot, as harsh as that sounds. You either do it, or you don’t. I’m not sure what else to say about it that isn’t in the article.

      1. Neal Nartin Avatar
        Neal Nartin

        Is the hidden path suicide?

        1. Neal Martin Avatar

          See my reply to Jurgen Wolff.

  4. O Avatar
    O

    This article is just the same as the other “self help” garbage, just worded differently.

    1. Neal Martin Avatar
      Neal Martin

      I’m sorry you feel that way. I was merely offering my experience and what worked for me in the hope that some people would get something out of it. I agree that most self help is garbage, as you put it, and I certainly wasn’t trying to add to the pile. It’s just a part of my experience along the road, as I said 🙂

  5. PHUC ME Avatar
    PHUC ME

    everything sucks…. so fuck it… welcome to reality…

  6. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Not trying to be “that guy” but Jesus opened up the door for me when I felt shut in by everything g around me. He actually is real.

    1. Whatever Avatar
      Whatever

      YEAH, so are ghosts and aliens and tooth fairies and UFO’s

    2. John Don Avatar
      John Don

      Like he came from the dead and filled your life with what exactly, promises of heaven. Yeah fucking right

  7. Ashli Avatar
    Ashli

    I’ve noticed a lot of replies on here have been negative so I’ll give my positive review. I understood what you were saying and I agree. I’ve been in that hospital bed before and I know giving up isn’t the answer. Its not about things getting better it’s about trying to enjoy what you have. I just want to be happy 🙁 that’s my purpose. Chin up soldiers.

  8. Jurgen Wolff Avatar

    When I tried to kill myself at age 23 I felt no regrets as I waited for my chosen method to work, but the universe or random chance (they may be the same thing) intervened. Life hasn’t been one long giggle since then but I’ve muddled through and now, as my age finds me much closer to a natural conclusion, I can see the black humour of the situation, since now I wouldn’t mind having a few more years than I’m likely to get. I don’t believe there is a God (although there may be gods) but if there is one, I think his/her/their message is, “This ain’t about what you want, it’s about what you do with what you get.”

    1. Neal Martin Avatar

      Wise words, Jurgen. Certainly, each of us embarks on a unique journey, and merely participating in that journey can be fulfilling in itself. Our individual experiences of life are varied, yet the shared aspect of experiencing is what truly matters. While I can’t claim to fully understand others’ unique perspectives, from my standpoint, I’m appreciative of the opportunity to be a part of this world. As I grow older, many external constructs—like religion, personal beliefs, even the existential pursuit of life’s meaning—seem to take on a more fluid, less rigid significance. These concepts, once deemed critical in my younger years, no longer hold the same weight. I find myself increasingly inclined towards adopting a more flexible, adaptable mindset, akin to ‘going with the flow.’ So I try to enjoy what I have while still striving for more. That’s the biggest challenge, being grateful and not getting too stressed or caught up in wanting/striving for more.

  9. Shelly Avatar
    Shelly

    Your article is about “enduring a tragic experience “ and “ examin(ing) a painful experience “, and we all go through those times. Living with a feeling of sadness so constant it makes you numb, is different. When your thoughts are controlling you, and not the other way around, you just get tired. At least that’s how I feel. It feels painful, and suicide would be a relief.

    1. Neal Martin Avatar

      Yes, it’s a different type of pain, no doubt. And one which I suffered from for many years, mostly in my late teens and twenties. I know how hard that pain is to deal with, and still experience it on occasion. But I guess I minimized it by building a life that suited me, rather than having to live a life I didn’t want, which would include working at a job that was unfulfilling. I live a good life now, but shit’s still hard. Life is hard, and we all have to find our own way to live it and enjoy it as much as we can. I can only offer my experience in the hope that it helps in some miniscule way, so I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I hope you find a way through your pain some day.

    2. Jane Doe Avatar

      Yes. People can give you all these fixes. They don’t get that we or I have tried to be fucking positive. I persevere. I’m not a quitter. I’m creative. I’m not afraid of hard work to get myself out of hard times. I’ve tried to make rational responsible decisions about my life.
      Shit happens. And then it happens again and again and again until your boxed on this corner. I have done everything I know how to do to save myself.
      When you get down it’s difficult, it will stretch the limits of your mind. I ind myself talking to that elusive higher power God, the universe, whatever, saying look you know I’m trying here. Give me a hint. Could I get that much. I’m willing here. I just need some fucking thing. Spin me in a circle and point me in the direction of how to save my own ass. I don’t want anyone to do it for me. I just want the chance to do it for myself.
      It either doesn’t exist or has a sick fucking sense of humor. Watching me grasping at anything to dig my way out of this pit. Oh no. Watch my anxiety get so bad I’m either going to have a stroke or nervous breakdown. And I get nothing. Not a whisper. Ive come to the conclusion I’ve wasted my life. Searching for God. Who’s in charge and does it matter. Jokes on me. Been talking to myself believing in fairy tales. I’m on my own. What ever it is or whatever it isn’t better stay away when or if I find a solution. Don’t come sniffing around if I find a solution. With God’s like that I don’t need devils. Lean something my ass. I’ve had faith I’ve been patient I’ve trusted. I heard the devil is a liar. Seems this almighty power and the liar are one in the same. Or nothing at all. A tall tale to control the masses.
      Nothing deserves worship or respect that promotes suffering like this. I don’t ever expect my life to be without obstacles hardship or pain. It comes with being human. It would have been nice if you picked in someone else for a chance. I see truly evil people breeze right through life without a care. Destroying other people lying cheating stealing and no consequence.
      I’ve tried to be a decent human being. Help others, be respectful, carry my own weight. And I couldn’t catch a fucking break if my life depended on it.
      Yes. I’m bitter. I’ve been at this too long. Years, struggling, fighting , anything I can for the slightest light to just have basic human necessities at this point. That seems to be too much to ask from anyone or anything whether real or imagined.
      I’m to the point I can look fear and the powers that be in the face and say fuck you. I just don’t care. I know I have fought I have tried. I have persevered. I didn’t quit. And the asshole over there cheating keeps getting the prize. Make that make sense. It’s a tough bitter pill to swallow. I’m not mean I’m not ugly and I would not feel good about myself doing he things these people do to get ahead. But it makes me wonder if I’ve been doing it wrong all along. There is no reward for being a decent human being. Not hat I have expect one . It would have been nice if you didn’t kick me in the fucking gut or step on my back every damn time I tried to get up..
      This is not fun for me. I’m not really learning anything except nice girls finish last. They don’t get picked, hard work isn’t enough, neither is determination. I’ve had enough. And until all these positivity and just find your fucking hilarious purpose promoting people can relate please shut up. Cause you don’t get it. You just don’t get it. Don’t tell me how great it is to suffer endlessly. Until you know what that feels like. You tell me if you could stay positive for years when every door is shut and locked and you want out you believe you can get out and you have worn yourself to the point of exhaustion and it just doesn’t happen. Do that . Experience that . Then you come back and sprinkle sunshine and tell me how it worked out so well. I call bullshit. Cause sometimes you can do every goddamned thing right and it doesn’t matter. The cheater still wins.

      1. Neal Martin Avatar

        I don’t disagree with anything you just said. I’ve felt most of what you are describing at one time or another, and often still do. It’s true that you’ll get ahead quicker if you’re a bastard to others, but I’m sure there’s a downside to that too. I mean, my sister has cancer. She got it when she just 30. The brightest, happiest person you’d ever meet, had so much going for her and then bang. Fucking cancer. Who knows why this shit happens to good people? I try not to question it too much anymore. That just leads to depression. I keep living and doing what I do, focusing on the day to day, building a life that suits me. I’m better off than most, so I’m grateful for that. Do you have a family? Kids? I find it helps having good people around you, stable relationships.

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