When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead
When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead
By Neal Martin/ September 15, 2015
Last Updated April 27, 2023
Life’s a drag, no two ways about it. Maybe not 24/7, but often enough, life feels like trying to inhale the world’s most unappetizing lollipop—donkey-flavored, extra large, and hairier than a werewolf’s armpit.
You won’t hear that kind of candor much in this era of self-help and “good vibes only” mentalities.
For the relentless positivity-pushers who preach rewiring your brain to achieve a so-called “blissful existence” (aka: a fantastical, unicorn-infested utopia), uttering the words “life sucks” might trigger a physical reaction like the one below…
…followed by a verbal eye-roll along the lines of, “Geez, someone needs to amp up their daily affirmations,” or “Whoa, negativity alert! Time to channel your inner Zen master.”
Well, maybe I’m not in the mood to be a freakin’ positivity powerhouse right now! Maybe you need a break from your relentless, self-help-infused pep talks!
Life does, in fact, blow chunks for a bunch of people, quite often. No denying it.
Pretending otherwise won’t magically make it all sunshine and rainbows.
Sadly, in this age of reality-avoidance, we often hide from life’s harsh truths behind a glossy façade of lies and an impenetrable fortress of escapism—whether it’s the fibs we tell ourselves or the never-ending distractions on offer.
But guess what? Life can still be a bummer, even when your coping mechanisms barely mask its sucktacular nature.
We’re born, we live, we die. What’s the point? Why even bother?
‘Cause we don’t really have a choice, that’s why.
The Great Cosmic Joke
Ah, the cruel irony of human existence. So often, it can feel unbearable, pointless, and devoid of meaning, yet we’re inexplicably driven by some inner force to keep trudging through the muck.
We soldier on, enduring a rollercoaster of pain and suffering, right up until the curtain falls, never knowing if any of it mattered.
Sure, some folks hit the eject button and call it quits.
But here’s a sobering fact about suicide: Almost everyone who survives a suicide attempt reports the same thought as they took the plunge – “Fuck me, what have I done? I don’t really wanna die!”
Suicide may seem like an option, but in reality, it’s a desperate cry for help that tragically claims lives before the cavalry arrives.
And even if you dodge the Reaper, life’s still waiting to sucker punch you. Now, you’ve got guilt and shame piled onto your already overflowing plate of suckitude. Talk about a lousy deal!
So, we’ve established life can be a steaming pile of “ugh.” The million-dollar question is: What do we do about it, aside from plodding along like malfunctioning robots?
Discover Your Hilarious Purpose
The only way I’ve found to battle the existential dread is by discovering a purpose so funny, it could leave the universe in stitches.
Allow me to wring this comedy metaphor like an old soggy dish cloth until it screams for mercy… or something.
I’ve dabbled in money, family, drugs, sex, and a smorgasbord of unmentionables, but an outrageously amusing purpose is the only thing that keeps me going—or, at the very least, makes me snort-laugh through life’s tribulations.
Purpose has been my life’s comedic relief when meaning seemed as scarce as hens’ teeth.
Purpose lets you declare (with as much certainty as humanly possible), “This is why I’m here, so let’s get this show on the road!”
In my experience, that purpose has to be as unique as your sense of humor. Living solely for others isn’t a strong enough punchline. You can be there for others, but only after you’ve cracked yourself up first. There’s no joy in dedicating your life to being everyone else’s straight man.
Now, you might think I’m off my rocker—especially if you have a spouse and kids like I do. But hear me out.
All I’m saying is, you can’t really help others until you’ve tickled your own funny bone first.
That’s not selfish or narcissistic—it’s just being hilariously honest.
When life’s got me in a headlock, I try to remind myself of my gut-busting purpose.
Sure, sometimes it takes a while to remember, especially after a soul-crushing emotional experience that’s tossed me off life’s comedy stage.
But the moment I recall the “why” of my life, I stop obsessing over the “what for,” and life seems to suck a whole lot less.
There’s more power in that kind of candor than in forcing yourself to think positively. That fluff only conceals the pain—it doesn’t confront it head-on.
To tackle the pain of existence, you have to stare it down, acknowledge its presence, and then laugh in its face.
The pain is real.
But so is the healing power of a hysterical purpose.
Slather on that comical purpose like a soothing balm, and you’ll find your balance and see things more clearly.
Eventually, you’ll think, “Shit happens. So what?”
(Pro tip: Don’t forget your sense of humor. Laughing at a situation helps loosen its grip and reveals just how absurd and ridiculous life can be most of the time.)
The Comedy of Life’s Lessons
There’s a good chance that the curveballs life throws at us are part of some cosmic gag reel. I’m not 100% sold on the idea, but it’s a theory worth exploring.
When I examine the painful moments in my life, I realize the pain was like a punchline, nudging me to change or learn something from the experience.
If I keep making the same blunders that bring me pain, it’s a sign I need to quit being the butt of the joke.
If I endure a traumatic experience, it’s probably because there’s a life lesson hidden in the script.
It’s all pretty logical when you think about it.
What’s often challenging, though, is heeding these warnings and learning the comedic timing of life. As humans, we sometimes seem destined to repeat our bloopers until our final curtain call. That’s just life.
But the better you get at paying attention and learning your lines, the less life will feel like a tragedy.
That’s where personal development comes in—not the “manifest-yourself-a-mansion” kind, but the realistic kind. There’s a massive difference.
As I’ve mentioned before, a personal development program can arm you with the tools to become the kind of person who can best fulfill their hilarious purpose. The nature of your purpose will dictate the kind of comedic genius you are and the kind you need to become.
However, no matter how much personal development you undergo, life will still have its moments of pure slapstick.
For those times, you need the power of purpose—the power of “why”—to remind you why you’re here, cracking jokes on this cosmic stage.
Purpose is like a lifeboat in a sea of suffering, and let’s be real, it’s way easier to navigate in a boat than to tread water while waves of misery crash over you, leaving you feeling like you’re drowning in a pool of sad trombone noises.
When everything else is as unpredictable as a stand-up comedy set, your sense of purpose will remain your trusty punchline.
At least until the aliens arrive and inform us that everything we thought we knew is utterly and hilariously wrong.
For now, remember your purpose, keep your head up, and carry on soldier…
62 responses to “When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead”
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Nothing will change. 47 years of depression and poverty my life SUCKS. UGLY people have no purpose so why bother. The world hates UGLY PEOPLE. Even my psychiatrist said there is no FIX for ugly. Death is the only solution. Thanks but I didn’t have to read the entire article to know this is another bullshit website.
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I agree! Yes you can commit suicide! People gi e life changes as reasons not to. It reali,I g that by the time we get to this point, life has become meaningless; we no longer give a shot! Too many people have … well, you & I get it! Best of luck in all your endeavord@
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fuck you grooks!
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YOU SHOULDENT GO AROUND SAYING KILL YOUR SELF PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUVE DONE
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And if we can’t find a “Sense of Purpose” ??
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I’m not going to give you some glib reply. I understand your frustration, however. I searched for a long time too, and thought I’d never find it. I’d say the path is there for you. It’s just hidden. If you’re sincere about finding it, and want to find it enough, I believe you will at some point. As cliched as it sounds, it’s about not giving up. That’s been my experience anyway. If you don’t believe in the concept of finding or having a purpose, or don’t believe you have or ever will find a purpose, then there is nothing else to do but to accept your lot, as harsh as that sounds. You either do it, or you don’t. I’m not sure what else to say about it that isn’t in the article.
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Is the hidden path suicide?
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See my reply to Jurgen Wolff.
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I don’t have answers, just a will to keep moving. That is enough.
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This article is just the same as the other “self help” garbage, just worded differently.
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I’m sorry you feel that way. I was merely offering my experience and what worked for me in the hope that some people would get something out of it. I agree that most self help is garbage, as you put it, and I certainly wasn’t trying to add to the pile. It’s just a part of my experience along the road, as I said 🙂
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Thanks
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Did you want him to just say to kys? Jesus Christ dude
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I’m sure he wanted something more substantial, but that’s ok, you can make a shitty remark and not think, like the rest of this shitty fucking world!
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everything sucks…. so fuck it… welcome to reality…
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Not trying to be “that guy” but Jesus opened up the door for me when I felt shut in by everything g around me. He actually is real.
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YEAH, so are ghosts and aliens and tooth fairies and UFO’s
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Like he came from the dead and filled your life with what exactly, promises of heaven. Yeah fucking right
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I dunno if i’ll make it to heaven, but I know damn well he’s real. The reason you’ll be miserable the rest of your life is cuz you keep the door closed. Don’t matter if you believe in Jesus or Allah or Hashem or Nath, opening that door to God in your life gives you purpose. Notice how the happy people all follow a religion.
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Speaking for myself, I do believe in a higher power. God, Infinite Intelligence, call it what you will.
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I myself sleep 0-3 hours a night, suffer a lot of pain from injuries, have ADD with no meds [long waiting list] maybe Autism, depression, no job no g/f, and the want to end it whilst laying in bed not sleeping, I decided to become an alcoholic, I’m still here, [disgruntled face] alcohol trumps suicide but comes with it’s own set of problems
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God owns your minds because you let it, prove your god , no one ever has, use your brains, how many people have died for the sake of a god, believing in god is brain suicide.
how many of these fake gods are there now ? -
No they don’t all the Christians I know are wearing masks to cover up their misery
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Fuck off. Christianity, like all religions, are a joke. Again, fuck off.
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No doubt. Put your trust in Lucifer, who came to free humanity from the narcissistic, malevolent, tyrannical, hypocritical God known as Yahweh/Jehovah. As a matter of fact, all three Abrahamic religions should have been eradicated eons ago for the good of the entire species.👿
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I’ve noticed a lot of replies on here have been negative so I’ll give my positive review. I understood what you were saying and I agree. I’ve been in that hospital bed before and I know giving up isn’t the answer. Its not about things getting better it’s about trying to enjoy what you have. I just want to be happy 🙁 that’s my purpose. Chin up soldiers.
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When I tried to kill myself at age 23 I felt no regrets as I waited for my chosen method to work, but the universe or random chance (they may be the same thing) intervened. Life hasn’t been one long giggle since then but I’ve muddled through and now, as my age finds me much closer to a natural conclusion, I can see the black humour of the situation, since now I wouldn’t mind having a few more years than I’m likely to get. I don’t believe there is a God (although there may be gods) but if there is one, I think his/her/their message is, “This ain’t about what you want, it’s about what you do with what you get.”
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Wise words, Jurgen. Certainly, each of us embarks on a unique journey, and merely participating in that journey can be fulfilling in itself. Our individual experiences of life are varied, yet the shared aspect of experiencing is what truly matters. While I can’t claim to fully understand others’ unique perspectives, from my standpoint, I’m appreciative of the opportunity to be a part of this world. As I grow older, many external constructs—like religion, personal beliefs, even the existential pursuit of life’s meaning—seem to take on a more fluid, less rigid significance. These concepts, once deemed critical in my younger years, no longer hold the same weight. I find myself increasingly inclined towards adopting a more flexible, adaptable mindset, akin to ‘going with the flow.’ So I try to enjoy what I have while still striving for more. That’s the biggest challenge, being grateful and not getting too stressed or caught up in wanting/striving for more.
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Correct. I attempted to end my life at 18 years of age via 50 or so sleeping pills and had no worries or concerns about what I was doing. Woke up in a hospital bed feeling pretty dumb. I have some good times since that episode, but after all that has happened, I feel like life is a cruel joke. I do have to laugh at my plight. I try to appreciate the good days, as fleeting as they may be. Oh yeah, I’m 55 years old now. Amazing.
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Your article is about “enduring a tragic experience “ and “ examin(ing) a painful experience “, and we all go through those times. Living with a feeling of sadness so constant it makes you numb, is different. When your thoughts are controlling you, and not the other way around, you just get tired. At least that’s how I feel. It feels painful, and suicide would be a relief.
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Yes, it’s a different type of pain, no doubt. And one which I suffered from for many years, mostly in my late teens and twenties. I know how hard that pain is to deal with, and still experience it on occasion. But I guess I minimized it by building a life that suited me, rather than having to live a life I didn’t want, which would include working at a job that was unfulfilling. I live a good life now, but shit’s still hard. Life is hard, and we all have to find our own way to live it and enjoy it as much as we can. I can only offer my experience in the hope that it helps in some miniscule way, so I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I hope you find a way through your pain some day.
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Yes. People can give you all these fixes. They don’t get that we or I have tried to be fucking positive. I persevere. I’m not a quitter. I’m creative. I’m not afraid of hard work to get myself out of hard times. I’ve tried to make rational responsible decisions about my life.
Shit happens. And then it happens again and again and again until your boxed on this corner. I have done everything I know how to do to save myself.
When you get down it’s difficult, it will stretch the limits of your mind. I ind myself talking to that elusive higher power God, the universe, whatever, saying look you know I’m trying here. Give me a hint. Could I get that much. I’m willing here. I just need some fucking thing. Spin me in a circle and point me in the direction of how to save my own ass. I don’t want anyone to do it for me. I just want the chance to do it for myself.
It either doesn’t exist or has a sick fucking sense of humor. Watching me grasping at anything to dig my way out of this pit. Oh no. Watch my anxiety get so bad I’m either going to have a stroke or nervous breakdown. And I get nothing. Not a whisper. Ive come to the conclusion I’ve wasted my life. Searching for God. Who’s in charge and does it matter. Jokes on me. Been talking to myself believing in fairy tales. I’m on my own. What ever it is or whatever it isn’t better stay away when or if I find a solution. Don’t come sniffing around if I find a solution. With God’s like that I don’t need devils. Lean something my ass. I’ve had faith I’ve been patient I’ve trusted. I heard the devil is a liar. Seems this almighty power and the liar are one in the same. Or nothing at all. A tall tale to control the masses.
Nothing deserves worship or respect that promotes suffering like this. I don’t ever expect my life to be without obstacles hardship or pain. It comes with being human. It would have been nice if you picked in someone else for a chance. I see truly evil people breeze right through life without a care. Destroying other people lying cheating stealing and no consequence.
I’ve tried to be a decent human being. Help others, be respectful, carry my own weight. And I couldn’t catch a fucking break if my life depended on it.
Yes. I’m bitter. I’ve been at this too long. Years, struggling, fighting , anything I can for the slightest light to just have basic human necessities at this point. That seems to be too much to ask from anyone or anything whether real or imagined.
I’m to the point I can look fear and the powers that be in the face and say fuck you. I just don’t care. I know I have fought I have tried. I have persevered. I didn’t quit. And the asshole over there cheating keeps getting the prize. Make that make sense. It’s a tough bitter pill to swallow. I’m not mean I’m not ugly and I would not feel good about myself doing he things these people do to get ahead. But it makes me wonder if I’ve been doing it wrong all along. There is no reward for being a decent human being. Not hat I have expect one . It would have been nice if you didn’t kick me in the fucking gut or step on my back every damn time I tried to get up..
This is not fun for me. I’m not really learning anything except nice girls finish last. They don’t get picked, hard work isn’t enough, neither is determination. I’ve had enough. And until all these positivity and just find your fucking hilarious purpose promoting people can relate please shut up. Cause you don’t get it. You just don’t get it. Don’t tell me how great it is to suffer endlessly. Until you know what that feels like. You tell me if you could stay positive for years when every door is shut and locked and you want out you believe you can get out and you have worn yourself to the point of exhaustion and it just doesn’t happen. Do that . Experience that . Then you come back and sprinkle sunshine and tell me how it worked out so well. I call bullshit. Cause sometimes you can do every goddamned thing right and it doesn’t matter. The cheater still wins.-
I don’t disagree with anything you just said. I’ve felt most of what you are describing at one time or another, and often still do. It’s true that you’ll get ahead quicker if you’re a bastard to others, but I’m sure there’s a downside to that too. I mean, my sister has cancer. She got it when she just 30. The brightest, happiest person you’d ever meet, had so much going for her and then bang. Fucking cancer. Who knows why this shit happens to good people? I try not to question it too much anymore. That just leads to depression. I keep living and doing what I do, focusing on the day to day, building a life that suits me. I’m better off than most, so I’m grateful for that. Do you have a family? Kids? I find it helps having good people around you, stable relationships.
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I’m with you Jane. And here, almost a year after you wrote this, even more has happened.
I remember reading in the bible that 144,000 , and a host of others, people would be going to heaven. I remember thinking- wow that’s all? How will I ever be good enough to be one of those.
Now as I reach the so-called golden years, I know people much better and I realize ….
144,000 seems pretty reasonable. I no longer believe life sucks. I believe it’s the rotten people that it seem as though life sucks. And there are soooo many of them. I could go on, but I think the point is made. Travel safely.-
the dream is to die so I won’t be a bum, to go away and not even realize you are drifting off. to be dead and no longer poor, dissatisfied, aging and dyinglive to die
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Omg u should get a hold of me ur life is literally exactly like mine
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The title of this article caught my eye and as I begin reading I thought to myself “oh maybe this author will give me a realistic perception to ponder about” then as I read further…I start to realize this is crap, I wonder if the author realized that “hilarious purpose” was Robbin Williams the comedian’s (may he truly be free and at peace) life purpose, but still in the end set himself “free” (not to disrespect his memory but wanted to make my point about internal human suffering). I am not a depressed person nor do I have mental health challenges. My challenge is that as I get older and as I experience life I start to SEE the more cynical side of humanity masked by behaviors of humanitarianisms or just the fact that people are oblivious to reality.
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Holy freakin smokes, that was a long-winded non-answer, and when you scroll down to comment and figure out if there was a point to all of that, it tries to force you to sign up for a mailing list, conveniently. Why are you fishing for business in mentally ill people just trying to find a way to be okay existing in the world. Most of us aren’t even doing that for us. It’s for the people that would be bummed out for a little while that, even though we’re free from nonstop, daily pain and misery, they wouldn’t be able to maybe see us for a few minutes every couple years or so if things worked out just right probably. And you would prey on them to pad your mailing list? You’re right, the world really does just SUCK sometimes.
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I’m not preying on anybody. The mailing list sign up pops up for all new visitors no matter which article they are reading.
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And why the hell do you need to approve my comment for it to post? Why mess with and manipulate the weak and broken?
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Comments are moderated to prevent spam, of which I get quite a lot. Nothing more sinister than that.
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Life isnt fair.
Life has no meaning or point to it.
Take only what you need to survive or else die.
Nice gets you killed.
We are all animals and there is no church in the wild, so to speak.
Its survival of the fittest, nice and simple.
Anyone who tells you any different is delusional and probably just wants to use you.
Family and a few friends if your lucky are the only ones you can really hope to have your best interests at heart but sometimes not even them…
Thats the truth. Sorry!-
No need to be sorry. Everyone has to find their own truth that they can live with.
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Life really sucks altogether for many of us single guys that don’t have a wife and family to share our life with. And with the kind of very evil, horrible, stuck up, nasty, entitled, gold digging, cheating, low life loser women that we have everywhere nowadays certainly made it much worse for many of us single guys as well. It really has become very impossible to find a decent normal woman today altogether for many of us serious single guys looking for love now as it is. Very dangerous to approach a woman to have a conversation with by just saying good morning or hello since they’re usually very nasty to many of us guys for no reason and will just walk away from us. And there will be times when they will curse us out too since i know other single guys that had it happened to them as well. Very psycho women everywhere nowadays and very extremely dangerous too. Back in the old days most women were at least normal since they were very old fashioned and real ladies which made love very easy to find the way our family members did.
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Maybe look for something more substantial than a pretty package?
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FYI Unfortunately there aren’t any decent real normal women too really meet anymore for many of us serious single guys still looking, and a lot of us aren’t looking for a 10 since i myself will settle for a 5.
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it’s great when you’re making money or getting fucked. otherwise life is a suck job. fake it till you never make it.
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This article made me laugh out loud and made my day I suffer with deep dark suicidal depression
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Thank you. I’m glad it helped 🙂
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To the guy above that wrote about being single really sucks with all those very psycho no good women out there nowadays, very much nailed it on the head since those women have brain damage to begin with. Definitely agree 100%.
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It’s 2025 ugh. I have an amazing husband/ Daughter/ SIL/ Grandchildren. A job a beautiful home some expensive toys money in the bank… Buutttt I feel like I’m so done with this place called earth. Politics and everyday BS from citizens to shit customer service to that Orange buffoon and my very own 🇨🇦 government. What’s it all for struggling along to get ti the end feels like ground hog day same shit different day. I have a very deep sense of hatred and that’s not me. It creeps up and destroys my best me. Yes the thought has crossed my mind to well you know, but the sense of sadness I get knowing how it will effect my loved ones is the only thing stopping me. Yah that’s sad. Not looking for a miracle just needed a space to vent.
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Like, what is a hilarious purpose? Am I the only one who has no clue what that could be? Care to give examples? It’s hard enough for me to find a regular purpose than to try to figure out a hilarious one.
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God only exists to perform and keep the rules of nature. Outside of them it is a free for all. Don’t expect any special treatment because you have worshiped God or followed the rules of religion or feel that you are more worthy. It don’t matter, after all religion is a man made construct and nothing to do with any higher being. Those who think they are of a higher calling and use religion to control others through fear are not worthy. Everything outside of the rules of nature is not Gods work, it is life. For example you cannot go faster than the speed of light, that is a rule, but you can be very unhappy and there is no escape from that, sorry. At this minute life sucks, I wish it did not, but hey, that’s life. Unhappiness is not going to affect the speed of light apart from the last photon I choose to see.
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Everyone has no purpose I meant.
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God isn’t real, and Jesus was a hallucination.
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Maybe is God was really he would give everyone a good life, but he’s not. life fucking takes away your loved ones life when they’re old,
How the fuck do you not realize that? -
Life truly hates us for no godamn reason, and kills your loved ones.
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I lost my sister to breast cancer a year ago. She was 38. So yeah, life fucking stings alright. It’s also completely indifferent to suffering. Not sure if that makes it any easier. Maybe. It would sting a lot worse if it was targeted suffering. Again, maybe it is. We just endure it, I guess. Find and do other stuff to make it bearable.
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Well it is real fact that God and Jesus both are very severely mentally retarded. And that is why our world is so very fucked up nowadays.
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Do not blame God for the human condition and the misery that takes place in the physical world. God resides in the spiritual realm with little to no interference in the physical world. The sooner you accept that, the better.
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Everything is fucked, lifes fucked, sex is fucked, the economy is fucked, humanity is totally fucked, tv is fucked, movies are fucked, ie reality fucking tv, endless fucking reboots and lame arse remakes,.
music is fucked, every single song that gets released since the year 2000 is instantly fucking forgettable with likes of beyonce fucking knowles, taylor fucking swift, kanye fuckhead west, anastasia whatever her fucking surnname is, in short they are all talentless fuckwits who dont deserve their fame and money. its funny alright how with all the technology at our disposal all we can do is make everything fucked., a pale shadow of the past, i stole that line from Leyland Kirbiy’s “the death of rave” something else thats now fucked.
the human race has run out of original and exciting ideas and all we do now is regurgitate the same old shit.
what else is fucked, lets see, oh yes
the internet is fucked, social media is beyond fucked, lay a lot of the blame for how fucked up our world is now right at the door of social fucking media.
men and women hate each other, how fucked is that!!!
money is fucked, i’m sure the coming cashless society is i’m afraid to say it, going to be fucked!!
Did i mention that planets fucked, not that i need to remind anyone, oh yeagh, we knew about climate change since 1979 but the human race decided it couldnt be bothered doing anything about it, we decided we wanted to keep rich white men rich and our power bills were more important than saving our planet even though an uninhabitable planet will make power bills a thing of the past, mass extinction not a concern, we are obviously all ok with that otherwise why the fuck did you all vote for a 2nd term of donald fucking trump,,. oh wait, thats right, i forgot, the human race is too fucking stupid to save itself. -
Even nowadays most women are very entitled and have brain damage to go along with it.
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